Control is at the core of any abusive relationship, and one of the most effective ways an abuser maintains control is by isolating their partner from friends, family, and support systems. Once you’re cut off from your support network, it becomes harder to leave the relationship or seek help. Here are the ways control and isolation manifest:

Limiting Your Relationships

In the beginning, an abuser might disguise their attempts to isolate you as concern or jealousy. They may express discomfort with your friends, claiming they are a bad influence or that they don’t have your best interests at heart. Over time, they may begin to:

• Discourage you from seeing friends or family: They may guilt you into canceling plans or make you feel bad for spending time with others.
• Monitor your interactions: An abuser may demand to know who you’re talking to or texting and question why you’re spending time with certain people.
• Create conflict with your loved ones: The abuser may cause arguments or tension between you and your friends or family, making it easier to cut ties.

By isolating you from your support network, the abuser makes it more difficult for you to seek help or even recognize that the relationship is unhealthy.

Exerting Control Over Everyday Aspects of Your Life

As the abuser gains more control, they may begin to exert influence over even the smallest details of your life, such as:

• Controlling finances: They may take over the finances, leaving you financially dependent on them or giving you an “allowance.”
• Monitoring your movements: The abuser may insist on knowing where you are at all times, demanding constant check-ins or tracking your location.
• Dictating how you spend your time: The abuser may control when you leave the house, what activities you’re allowed to participate in, and even how you dress.

This level of control can leave you feeling trapped and powerless, as your autonomy is stripped away bit by bit.